Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize