so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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