Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize