The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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