We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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