She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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