I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm both gender and math confused
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