Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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