I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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