I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize