They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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