there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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