I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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