i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize