That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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