the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
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you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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