I must be too annoying 4 u.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize