How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
birth control should be required to get into college
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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