Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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