It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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