How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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