The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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