Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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