3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize