i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize