The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize