I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize