it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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