I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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