Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
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Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
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Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize