Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Pants are for mortals
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize