i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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