Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
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He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
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I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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