is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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