Your tits are I can't wait for
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
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there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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