she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
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For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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