I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize