i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize