I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize