sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize