I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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