Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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