Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize