if only i could text you this smell
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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