i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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