Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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