hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize