Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
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I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
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pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I could fuck to npr.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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