i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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