me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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